ananda12_2's Xanga

New Site

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 16:45:07 GMT

Hey friends

Some of you may have wondered where I went... see, the Louisville HotSpot connection, which Ashlea and I get for free if we lean precariously out the wondow far enough. Ok, it's not that bad, but almost. Anyway, it blocks xanga. Which is sad, because Ashlea just introduced me to the Immanuel Baptist Church xanga blogring.

I have a blogspot webpage, which I've begun to actually treat as my blog instead of just a way to post on other people's sites. I've sent out another email with the new link to everyone I know who might possibly care, and it's on my facebook profile. If you want the link, and didn't get it through one of the above-mentioned ways, email me and I'll give it to you. I was thinking about it, and it might be better not to link the two sites, just in case...I've known some weirdos in my life, lol.

Ok. Gotta go check on sweet potatoes. Look up the new blog! Many pictures and non-insightful musings posted! hehhehe

--"Joce"

First Day of Exploring

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 19:00:46 GMT

I'm sitting upstairs at the grandiose Louisville Free Public Library-- be it hereby known that the first bit of "official" buisiness I've done since moving here has been to get a library card! (now what does THAT say about me?) I was having trouble connecting on the WiFi, so I asked the guy next to me, with the same Powerbook as my 12" little Tosha. We struck up a convo, and now I've gotten online (as you can see). As soon as we got upstairs, another guy working on a Mac came over to consult us about web connetions (he definitely looks like a college professor...sort of like Dr. Walter with longer hair-- Macs definitely seem to be a college trend). We Mac users feel a kinship with one another unavailable to those manhandling massive "laptops" known as PCs. It's a nice comraderie... while PC users may be able to bond by helping one another through difficult times (such as their computers freezing for the upteenth time...that lovely little hourglass, ahhh the memories) shared frustrations are hardly pleasant...

Ok. I'll stop with the knocking.

Oh, I also thought it was funny that the guy behind the desk in the children's section used the suffix "-age" as is so in vogue on my own college campus. I thought it was a Furman thing, but he definitely reccomended "looking for the signage" when I inquired about WiFi in the library. It made me hide a smile. Maybe he's a Furman alum...

Last night I had my first solo excursion; I went (on BIG interstates in TRAFFIC!!) to help celebrate Blaine White's birthday at Dave & Sina Shuey's house. It was definitely the furthest I've ever driven to a birthday party! (Blaine's a deacon at my church back in Greenville, Grace Baptist) It was great fun-- the Whites have 3 amazing girls, and 1 fun little guy, Noah (aka Spiderman. Dad, I overheard him telling John Shuey that you are the Real Green Goblin). Wendy's one of my favorite people (if I can be as cool as her when I'm a mom, I'll consider myself highly sanctified!), and Blaine is an inspiring dad...just an all-around great family. We played spoons, jumped on the trampoline, I threw the girls over my shoulder over and over (for some reason, they love that), and then after dinner Sarah (the oldest of the White progeny-- 15 in 34 days) and I washed dishes, talked and then played Spit!

The only downside was the fact that they served steak-- which was DELICIOUS-- but was harder to chew than I'd anticipated...my mouth was more sore than it has been since my teeth got cut out! Ouch! I was completely wiped out after like 10 minutes on the trampoline-- my heart races with the least exertion since I got on those pain-killers. I hope FERVENTLY it isn't permanant!

This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn, so hopped on my bike, slipping a gluten-free breakfast bar into my jacket pocket, and headed downtown. I thought I'd just ride down 4th Street as far as I felt like it. It was such a wonderful ride! God has ordained where I'm staying, that much is clear! I needed to do 2 things pressingly: buy stamps/ mail a letter to my sister Anna so it will get to her while she's still at Girls State, and get to my bank, BB&T.

I set off to find a post office and to find out if there was even a bank around! It was only about 6:30 am, but the streets were already coming alive, especially the coffee shops. The only places open besides Starbucks and Java were the hotels, and I made friends with 2 of the valets. One, Thomas (at the Brown Hotel), watched my bike for me while I went upstairs to buy stamps from the front desk (I'd stopped to ask about where a post office was. Turns out it's real closeby, too). He chuckled at me, up so early and surely looking like the North Wind, with a kick-standless old boy's bike asking about postage stamps as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Anyway, I ended up mailing the letter from the hotel, too. It was my one-stop convenience store.

I continued down Fourth, passing 2 Starbucks, the Library, a Java, Borders (like Books A Million or Barnes & Noble), a local coffee shop, and the Louisville Conference Center. At the Hilton, I asked a second friendly valet if he knew where a BB&T was (I know, at this rate, I'll be on a first-name basis with half the early morning crew downtown). Instead he ran inside and looked it up for me in the phone book. Take a wild guess... it's on Fourth Street, too! The only one in downtown, and it's practically on my street! God put more kind people in my path there; 2 early-morning janitors there, who lent me a pen. I think they were just surprised to see someone smiling that early in the morning, sans café.

All the above-mentioned franchises except the library are places I intend to apply... I just couldn't then because it was before 9 o'clock, lol. But I feel like I'm well on my way to exploring downtown Louisville. I really like the city-- the only negative aspect at all is the lack of bicycle racks on the streets. I guess I've never thought about them before, not riding my bike downtown in G'ville much-- except I remember that Oxford had heaps of them... I'll definitely need to pick up a lock and helmet (for longer excursions) at Walmart, since I neglected to bring BOTH those items *sigh*.

After I got back, I had SO much day left! It was amazing! Cereal with John Piper, recording kids songs for a backyard Bible club in Scotland (our church has missionaries there and they're using our curriculum, but didn't know the songs)-- I played my new guitar for the first time in ages, then branched out and mixed in some djembe and fiddled around with double tracks and equalizer settings before I made them into mp3s and sent them on their merry way (are you impressed, Kyle?)-- some Harry Potter over lunch... After all that, I figured it was about 3, but I looked at the clock and it was only 12:45! This is why I love being a morning person. I walked into town this time round, for excersise, and because I wasn't sure what I'd do with the bike while I did email and things.

All right. I've been in this library long enough. I'm gonna head to a coffee house now and write for a good long while. If this is going to be my honeymoon, I need time with my Husband!

Ahoy for now, mateys-- I'll be off!
--Christina "Joce"

Some Pics of my New Surroundings!

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 18:30:13 GMT

St. James Ct.: the "street" where I live. Notice the fountain! ...I think "Boulevard" or "Avenue" would be more appropriate! My roommate tells me they use the middle of the street for weddings often!

#1463. Ain't it great? The windows visible on the second story are ours. The picture windows are in our living/dining room, and the two windows on the right are right along my bed.

The front entrance of the library. It's only about 7 blocks from my apartment. As I will elucidate later, everything is on 4th street!

The Shueys (this was taken in March, but they and their couch look about the same ):

Below is my mass email/Update #1:
Greetings from Historic Downtown Louisville, KY!!

My new roommate (and newly-discovered kindred-spirit), Ashlea Davenport and I are sitting in the "Old Louisville Coffeehouse" using their wi-fi, about a block from our apartment. I like this shop already; it has a sign on the door that says "Keep Louisville Weird-- support independant local businesses." *grin* For the past 2 or three months, people have been asking me what I'd be doing for the summer, and I wasn't ever sure quite what to say. Lately, though, inspired by my dad, and in the spirit of Peter Pan, I've taken to saying "going on an adventure!" And that it has been!

Following 5 days of recovery after my wisdom teeth extraction, my family + Jonathan Suit (this is why it's good to have guy friends who are philosophy majors...aka they don't have anything to do *wink*) packed up my little Mazda (good ol' Max) and a rental car, and drove the 6 1/2 hours to Louisville, KY. It took us a lot longer, though, because we stopped in Nashville to have lunch with my dad's little sister, Robin, her husband Duncan, with their 2 adorable kids (Caroline reminds me so much of myself, and she remembered me from last Thanksgiving!). She says "refrigeradator" and "mandatory" it;s so cute. They're only 2.5 hours away; I'll probably spend a weekend with them at some point. But besides the break for lunch, we drove around the boonies of golf-resort-just-outside-Nashville-ia when Dad decided he didn't believe his GPS... we took quite a "detour." However, *I* was the one in the non-air-conditioned car!

My roomate Ashlea is great, and I love my apartment. I meant to upload pictures but stupidly left the cable back in the apartment (we're at the "Old Louisville Coffeeshop" a block down the street. It's in a renovated victorian home, on St. James Ct., one of the most manicured tree-lined avenues in Historic Louisville. I'm a mile from 4th Street Live, and literally a block over from Central Park...really in the heart of the downtown area!! My new roommate is a real kindred spirit-- my first view of the living room which she has SOOOO wonderfully decorated was "The Valley of Vision" on an end table, the entire "Anne of Green Gables" series on one bookshelf, and all Tolkien's works on the mantle (which, for those of you who don't know, are all in my Top 10 list)! I'm so thankful. As we carried in crates of stuff from the cars, I remarked that it was mostly tea-- and she answered "Oh, I love tea too!" We have a whole SHELF of the stuff in our tiny but well-equipped kitchen. And she asked me if I was a morning or night person, and I answered "definitely morning..." and watched to see if that was a good thing or a bad thing-- and her face lit up and she said "oh, that's happy! so am I!!" So that is one answered prayer right there.

Job prospects are overwhelming...should I work full time? Two part-time? Over on Shelbyville Rd-- like Pleasantburg or Haywood? 20 minutes across town, by interstate, but more suburbia, and thus...bigger stores= more employment chances (and that's where Whole Foods is, Starbucks, and World Market-- all of which are hiring). Or should I be aiming more for places I can ride my bike to around here? Ah!! It's a grand adventure!

I read a verse last night that God really used to grab my heart-- "Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul." (Ps. 86:4) That's my prayer for this summer-- this "Honeymoon Summer" as I think of it (the honeymoon couple being me and Jesus)-- that God would gladden my heart in Him again. I've been so distant from Him these past few months...the "creeping separateness" that Vanauken describes (A Severe Mercy) that arises from not spending deep time with each other... It struck me that praying or saying "Lord willing" doesn't flow naturally now. It shocked me, but I realized I felt like a hypocrite when I did those things-- that is not good! It isn't God who has moved, obviously. I was praying this morning "Lord, be with me today..." when it struck me that that isn't really the issue, is it? He ALWAYS is with me. Jesus' resurrection guaranteed that! The Spirit led me to change it to "Lord, draw me to walk with You today." He's there-- it's me that pulls away. I covet your prayers and can't wait to share!

Recent Fun

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 02:02:56 GMT

Exibit A:
Big Day for Furman seniors.. I nearly froze to death, marshalling on the field.
w/ my RUF buddy, Wendell Kimbrough-- the up-and-coming songwriter and soon-to-be-first-ever-Protestant monk.

Anna & I w/ Suit. I miss him already-- waaah!!!!
And for the ROTC guys, it was an even bigger day-- commissioning! Here I am with Second Lt. Don Slagle.

Exhibit B:
Sunday with the cutest baby on the planet (Hannah Powell, of course)

Exhibit C:
Kyle was a dear and brought Harry Potter 3 to watch, and a decaf mocha frap for me in my now-wisdomless-swollen-cheeky-state. (Anna's been a wonderful nursemaid, getting me water and sweet potatoes, and most of all reading Harry Potter 5 out loud to me when my eyes are too tired to stay open. Mom and Dad have been wondermous, too.)

maybe it's because it's midnight, maybe it's not

Fri, 19 May 2006 03:10:29 GMT

lots to write, but not tonight (hey that rhymed)

killing myself tomorrow with auditions and volunteering (at Washington Center) and shopping and a lingerie shower and then 6 hours of work. then waking up and putting in another 7 hours. *sigh* do you ever feel like you're putting in so much so many places that nothing actually matters? it's like...if you try and sink your anchors in everywhere, you're stretched too thin and anchored nowhere.
so thin that the wind would blow you away...
so spread that no one would notice anyway? (hey that rhymed, too)

but you know what I hate even more than that?? when people whom I know well, who have done things to harm Christ and His church, especially my own, and especially my two sisters, whom I love more than anyone in this world... those individuals who shamelessly plaster "jesus-lover" all over their myspace and xanga and facebook...with all these spineless "hey girl, I love you girl!"'s... and I know the ripping anguish they've brought, and there they are, "fresh-faced and innocent," and it just leaves me to wonder... what are we doing?

Letting Go, and Running In

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 04:19:46 GMT

[Edit: I will write more about Heaven in response to you wonderful thought-provokers out there! ]

SO... it's late again, and i am tired. but i am happy-- happier than i have been in maybe two weeks.

The sweet relief of letting go...and knowing you are Held. Someone once called it "sweet submission."

Basically, i have groped about in darkness-- "i'm just existing; not really living" as Natalie Grant puts it in one song-- for the past few days, and refused to leave that place... why? It's so stupid. Because I just didn't want to let go of what I want. ...I just didn't want to open up my clenched fists, and say-- "ok, Daddy. Take it. Take it all. I will do anything YOU want, not what I want. And I will believe, and cling to it, that You will be Enough comfort for whatever You call me to walk through."

I just didn't want to let go, you know? As if God wasn't going to get His way, anyway, lol...and we both knew it. I was only making myself miserable by crossing my arms, and pouting angrily outside His throneroom-- knowing full well that at any moment, I could run in and jump into His arms again, and know joy. But you can't come running into His presence clinging to YOUR will...that's sort of the antithesis of the whole "YOUR kingdom come..." thing. The whole "not my will, but Yours..." which wasn't easy even for the Son of God to say, as He sweat drops of blood, anguished at the thought of separation His obedience would bring. But yet there was joy to be found, Hebrews 12:2 says, and so the Son bent His will and bowed His head.

And how amazing!! When I-- when any of us Christians!-- let go, bend and bow, we know that it will NOT bring separation! And that means Joy to us. "In His presence is fullness of Joy" (Ps. 16, one of my favorites to cling to) Wow.

Does it ever amaze you that God the Father takes you back, when you've been so utterly rediculous in your stubborn foolishness ...so blasphemous in your proud anger (because it is never ok to be angry with God)? In the way you've insulted His promises, strength, and Grace by refusing to trust? Wow.

And He broke me...drew me. With me, He often uses physical pain (scoliosis, now a new chronic leg pain...it woke me up crying out this morning), and music...and the kindness of others. This song caught me--

"I have not grown weary of revival,'/ but all the time that lapses in between--/ in search for endless joy, my patience I destroy,/ 'til mercy opens up a mountain stream. //
Chorus: I go to the fountain, I go to the well;/ I hear in the waves the echoes of His voice saying,/ "Peace, be still",/ my hands are warm, my lips are sore and dry until/ I go to the fountain."//
“All the saints together form a garden, /And beauty is the riches of its fold/ Even in the rain, its beauty will remain,/ For water is its silver, and its gold.// (chorus)
"And in that moment when you see the dove descending/ He will be revealed/ And in that moment when the water washes over/ We will be set free//
I go the fountain, I go the well;/ I hear in the waves the echoes of His voice saying,/ “Peace, be still,”/ My hands are warm, my lips are sore and dry until/ I go to the fountain,/ and I’m filled.” (“The Fountain,” Joshua Moore)

Seeking to seek His Kingdom as I let go of mine,
--Christina

"...only the curious have something to find..."

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 03:59:50 GMT

For some reason, that song-line came to mind after the conversations I had on the topic of Heaven lately...y'all can be the judges as to whether or not that was a warrented association. Something in its spirit, though, I'm sure applies, though I cannot perhaps put it into words.

This song too:
"it's only for the weak, for the faint of heart--
those driven to their knees-- those who live with scars...
before we follow Christ, we need to realize:
it's only for the weak."(1)

Those of you who've talked with me for the past few months, or read this thing, know that Heaven has been on my mind a lot. Some might say more and more. Then two Sundays ago, our former pastor, Bob Selph, preached in my church (Grace), on Heaven. Five full conversations ensued, loosely based on that sermon, and I've heard even more comments here and there relating to it...and though all were with real, thinking Christians, they were quite different. It amazed me, honestly, and made me re-examine my own heart and thoughts.

The conversations fell into two camps, shall we say: those who were deeply encouraged by the sermon, and those who found it unhelpful. Probably that's the case with most sermons, right? ...Why did some find the doctrine of Heaven so sweet, and others nearly superfluous, at the least somewhat impractical; not "encouraging"? I could see it in the eyes of those who drank it in: they were needy. Talking with Kyle as we ran (yes, this was the subject mentioned in that post from last week), it all came together. ...now let's see if I can get it all out of my head in some sort of fashion-- I don't want to preach, but I do want to get us mulling...

We Christians need Heaven because we need hope. We aren't strong enough to get through this world without it. Chew on that while you think about this: what about "the Kingdom"? Aren't we, as Christians, supposed to be quite occupied with bringing ALL things under the active dominion of Christ-- bringing the Kingdom into the here and now? I mean, that's in the Lord's Prayer-- "may Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth, like it already is in Heaven." The commands for justice and mercy, and loving your neighbor and enemy, and serving the least of these are present imperative-- they are ALWAYS meaning "do it right here, right now." As Jesus reminded Judas and Simon-- "the poor we will ALWAYS have with us." As in-- we should be doing something about that, all the time, because they are always there. What's Heaven in all that? We don't want to be "so Heavenly-minded that we're no earthly good," right? Well... let's pull on that a little.

How many of us have been stirred by the Holy Spirit through a sermon, a hymn, a song, a conversation, a Scripture reading, a prayer, and deeply convicted to serve in some way now? We get all gung-ho about forming this Christ-centered, God-glorifying community in our churches, and drawing people in! Woohoo! The Gospel is at WORK!! And we know it's so RIGHT!! I know I've been there, many times. I've heard "pity the nations, O our God-- constrain the earth to come! Send Your victorious word abroad, and bring the strangers home! We long to see Your churches full, that all the chosen race may with one voice and heart and soul sing Your Redeeming grace." I've sung it, and wept, and burned to "go tell"! I've read "by this all men will know that you are My disciples; that you love one another," and my heart has burned to physically love-- to become a foster mother, to serve the hurting at Furman, to reach out and draw in the "outsiders" in my church. I've been convicted to give generously-- what I can't afford. I look forward to "filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ" by making myself more than 'uncomfortable' for the sake of the maybe-not-so-grateful. All right. So that's the "here-and-now" we were talking about, right? Still with me?

Ok, so... How many of you have then felt that conviction wear off...or you just plain wear out? When you've reached the saturation point, and the person you're loving STILL is talking? When you really are tired...When it hurts too much...When the person you're loving isn't exactly appreciative of you? When you are being asked to do the impossible-- forgive-- over and over again? Because all those SHOULD happen to the Kingdom-minded saint. Hmmmm...
How about when the tables turn and the "problem" is you: When you yourself can't seem to stop one particular sin, and you are just soooo discouraged? When you start hurting, and can't stop bleeding? When the car wreck happens, or the breakup, or the loss of a job? Then where does the love, the compassion, the conviction, the passion, go? Hmmm.
Or-- how about this-- all that fruit is still there, but the companionship is not? When the people you're loving don't love back; when you feel as far from appreciated as a watermelon is from a skyscraper? When you feel abandoned or isolated by everyone, and "lonely" seems to be the most applicable word to your life? Then how do you love?

In all of these situations, how the heck do you keep seeking to bring the Kingdom when you may not feel a part of it???

See, claiming that Christianity is cheifly for the "here-and-now" may be in one sense true, but it assumes that we'll stay constant throughout our present; that what we feel will align with Truth, with Kingdom Truth, day in, day out, every day. And, guys, we've got to face it: it doesn't. Being honest with ourselves says that we're gonna run out of steam at some point- for most of us sooner rather than later. Assuming that we won't is based in pride. Those who equate Heaven-focus with "fire insurance" or "the easy way out" hold a cheap view of grace, because that's NOT what Heaven is about. If we were able to love and perservere on our own strength, we wouldn't have needed a Savior in the first place, and if we perfectly remembered Him and honored Him daily we wouldn't need to repent anymore. But we did, and we do. We are a bunch of stumbling, sanctified sinners-- saved, and being saved. Marvelous works...still in progress. What does all this have to do with Heaven? Three things: a right understanding of the place of Hope, a real knowledge of what mercy means, and a high view of all sanctification means.

I think Michael Card puts it soooo well in this song about the Christian life, "Joy in the Journey" (the first 4 lines are my favorite summary/definition of the Christian soul):

"To all who've been born of the Spirit,
and who share incarnation with Him,
who belong to Eternity, stranded in time,
and weary of struggling with sin:
Forget not the Hope that's before you,
and never stop counting the cost!--
remember the hopelessness when you were lost."

Heaven is all about Hope. [All this is rooted in Scripture-- if you have questions, ask, and I'll be GLAD to point you to them!] It's the Hope that there is more than this-- that this is as bad as it gets. It's the Hope that any wrongs done you in the "here and now" can be entrusted to God to be handled perfectly, lovingly, in His own time. It's the Hope that justice will be done. It's the Hope that any glory you get there will make the hurts here mean NOTHING. It's the Hope of being with your Best Friend, face-to-face...forever!!! It's the Hope of being DONE with struggling with sin (oh yeah!). It's the Hope of rest. It's the Hope of seeing the glory of the Kingdom you've labored so hard for come in full, unbridled splendor. Knowing that that revalation is coming comforts us when we never see the Kingdom perfectly here on earth-- because we won't! But then, we WILL. And that's Hope. It's the Hope of understanding why you've suffered-- and laughing in delight at it! It's the Hope of saying "it was all WORTH it!" Don't you see how all that is what gets you, Christian, through the "here and now"? We are too weak to keep going without any motivation-- we thrive on Hope. Without a vision, we perish. When we've reached the end of our strength, we look to the Day and remember that...there is more. It's the Hope that Death is dead, and sin's sting is gone, which means that we are TRULY free! And you know that the best part of Heaven is that JESUS is there-- and so when we need strength and cry out to Him, what are we doing but crying out of Time into Eternity, to Him who is on Heaven's throne? Those who feel their need love Heaven, because they know they're desperate for Hope.

[Speaking of Jesus, what did He do-- the Ultimate Kingdom-bringer-- the literal Incarnation of the Eternal-in-the-Here-and-Now (aka "the Word become Flesh")-- when He was under intense suffering? Where did He look when He felt most keenly His need, His weakness? That would be on the Cross, and Hebrews 12 tells us that "for the joy set before Him, He endured the Cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the Throne of God." What joy? The joy of coming to get a Bride-- of fulfilling all the promises of the Covenants so that He could "purchase for Himself a people of His very own, zealous to do good works"-- the ushering in of the New Covenant that the first 11 chapters of Hebrews outline! Things that will only ultimately be fulfilled IN HEAVEN. Jesus Himself looked beyond the "here and now" into His future joy, and that is what strengthened Him in the Ultimate Suffering. And we are told in v. 3 to "consider Him...so that we will not grow weary and lose heart."]

We are to "do justly and love mercy," right? Heaven-minded Christians remember that this means caring for our neighbor (and the poor's) soul, not just his body. We should go way beyond the world in materially helping "the poor," and THEN even better!- serve his soul. Looking forward to Heaven reminds us of the equally real Hell, and the finality of eternity. Real mercy takes this into consideration. Furthering the Kingdom on earth means doing good deeds so men will glorify our Father in Heaven-- so He gets glory, yes, and also so that they are saved for that Heaven. Real mercy seeks to fit men for Heaven. Real justice seeks to promote the worship of the Worthy One: Jesus.

Lastly, a correct valuing of Heaven means that we understand exactly what "sanctification" means. It means to be made holy, which in turn means to be set apart. That implies a break with the old "unclean," and a formation of a new creature, one that is separated from everything it knew. Since the day Seth was born in Gen. 4, there has always been a calling out of God's people, a separating ("setting apart")... We have always been called to be strangers in a land no longer our home. We are not home here. Until the Kingdom is all the way here, we are not home yet. Those who little value Heaven forget that we 'belong to Eternity.' Reading through the OT has deeply impressed on me just how real this "not being citizens of this world" was to them-- they lived in tents. They truly understood why they weren't comfortable in this world, and why they couldn't seem to find a place in it: because they were Heaven-bound. They were "looking for a City with foundations, whose builder and architect was God. Therefore God was not ashamed to be called their god." (Heb. 11) They were Canaan bound...are we? Or are we too comfortable here? We are to labor to bring in the Kingdom, yes, but we will never fully succeed-- not until the last trumpet sounds, and we are at last HOME. The certainty of Heaven keeps us from despair. Those of you who know the longing in your souls for a place you have never been--the place where you will belong-- know this insatiable longing for Heaven. And it is we who rejoice so deeply to hear of our certain Hope: Heaven, where God Himself will tabernacle ("dwell among"), and all things will be made new- even us, weary and weak. AMEN!

Maranatha-- even so, Lord Jesus, quickly come.

(1) Opening lines of that song:
"Some say it's rules and regulations, and trying to always be right-
No room for mistakes in the choices we make: only the strong survive.
But it's not about perfect performance, or resolution of will:
It's all about surrender-- giving up, being still." ~Avalon

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 11:29:14 GMT

k friends, I've got about a BILLION and one thoughts spinning round in my head right now, but no time at the moment to write. i just really got an urge to listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's "All Things New" album, with the song "Make Much of You" on it, thanks to a post-run convo I had with Kyle (yeah, runs are great times for theological discusssions, didn't you know?). BUT, alas and alack, it is not in its case! I began taking inventory, and discovered that I am actually missing quite a number of CDs, either in their cases or out of them...if any of y'all have the following, please let me know (and give it back eventually). Yes, Nicole, this means YOU too!
-- Casting Crowns, by ...duh
-- All Things New (SCC)
-- I See Things Upside Down (Derek Webb)
-- King of Grace (PDI)
-- Pilgrim Days (Indelible Grace)
-- my Celtic mix CD
-- Songs 2 (Rich Mullins)
-- City on a Hill, vol. 1
-- 40 Acres (Caedmon's Call)
-- and just the jewel case for Hymns, Ancient & Modern (Passion)

Think that's about it... to the shower!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 03:23:40 GMT

"...when everything feels like the movies,
yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive!

and i don't want the world to see me,
'cause i don't think that they'd understand...
when everything's bent to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am..."

and the haunting image of Captain Barbossa, shot by Jack Sparrow just as the Curse is lifted... "I feel-- (what hope! finally! his deepest longing addressed!)
--(his face drains as he realizes what he feels) "...cold."

and he dies.

what he most desperately pursued-- feeling!-- is what killed him.

and he bled to death, finally feeling at last.

and it wasn't worth it.

sorry for the depressing post. i'm thinking a lot about that concept. it's rather frightening, but i can't escape it. my mind is full of twists and turns, and i don't know if i want to try and figure them out.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 23:55:13 GMT

H'ok...Lauren tagged me, and as she does hold a college degree, I must obey her...(plus, I'm counting this as my one study break of the night. I'm gonna need it.)

4 jobs I have held:
1) Hostess/Translator at On the Border Mexican Bar and Grill
2) NPI (Non-Pastoral Intern, lol) at Grace Baptist Church of Taylors, SC
3) Hostess/Concession Stand Manager at Regal Cinemas
4) Administrative Assistant of Awesomeness at Hatfield Builders, Inc. (ok...so I added the Awesomeness part, for alliterative effect...)

4 movies I can watch over and over:
1) While You Were Sleeping & Miss Congeniality
2) Mulan (yes the Disney)
3) Pirates of the Caribbean
4) LOTR
and that is by NO means an exaustive list, lol...Hitch, Harry Potter, Double Jeapordy, You've Got Mail...

4 places I have lived:
1) Chateaugay, France
2) Carlos Paz, Argentina
3) Greenville, SC
4) Bejar, Spain

4 TV shows I love to watch:
1) CSI
2) Star Trek (the Original...yes I also like The Twilight Zone)
3) House MD
4) Hogan's Heros...lol I know

4 places I've been on vacation: (you mean my favorites?)
1) Prince Edward Island, Canada
2) Vieux Quebec, Canada
3) Paris, France
4) Hunting Island, SC

4 favorite dishes:
1) full-style Guatemalan...frijoles negros, eggs, guacamole, sour cream, tomatoes, and fresh peppers...I guess that's more of a full meal than a dish, oh well.
2) Pad Thai
3) Thai Red Curry from ThaiCoon, or Lemongrass
4) good old fashioned HOTTTTTT buffalo wings
...ok dear, what about falafel??

4 websites I visit daily:
1) facebook, I admit it
2) xanga
3) maybe not daily, but often: cyberhymnal.org
4) fc.furman.edu/login (school email)

4 places I would rather be right now: (since it's winter, I'm thinking cold places)
1) Matt & MaryScott Foreman's house in Chester, PA (suburb of Philly)
2) riding horses in North Carolina, or out West
3) hiking somewhere in the Blue Ridge...or anywhere in the mountains
4) coffee shop in a downtown somewhere, without the pressure of having to be somewhere --oooh, especially in Vieux Quebec or Toronto or Paris ...les cités des cafés...

4 people I am tagging:
1) Kyle Heath
2) Lauren Nicole
3) Johnny (to FORCE you to post!)
4) Katie Lewis
AND...just because I'm a rebellious sort of chick...
5) SCOTT BLACK!

THE END